Tuesday, September 30, 2008

What my dad does when I'm away. . .

Well, last Saturday my dad went diving with Ron Smith, Al Stout, Rachel his assistant, and her dad. There's a funny story about how Mr. Smith let the boat go and my dad had to jump in after it, but I won't go into it. Here's a video he made with his new underwater camera mount:

I am amazed

This is awesome. Sheer, total awesomeness. I want you to read the next sentence with care and an open mind.

Today, off the coast of Africa, Somalian pirates hijacked a Ukranian freighter loaded with weapons.

You can't make this stuff up. This is like something out of a bad Tom Clancy novel. God has such a sense of humor. Here is the New York Times write-up on this. I think it's hysterical because the plain, old fashioned piratical talk is just put out there like it's Obama or Palin speaking.

Okay but first of all:
"Ukrainian freighter loaded with tanks, artillery, grenade launchers and ammunition"
What the heck? Ukrainians? Really? This is way too good to be true.

Also: 
Mr. Sugule spoke on everything from what the pirates wanted (“just money”) to why they were doing this (“to stop illegal fishing and dumping in our waters”) to what they had to eat on board (rice, meat, bread, spaghetti, “you know, normal human-being food”).
"Just money," and "normal human-being food" - I laughed so hard it hurt.

And best of all, then the New York Times asked why they stopped it. This is the funniest thing I've heard in a month of Mondays.  
"'We just saw a big ship,' the pirates’ spokesman, Sugule Ali, said in a telephone interview. 'So we stopped it.'"
First of all - oh my freaking gosh, that's amazing. Second of all - spokesman? Seriously? Can you imagine that conversation: "Can I talk to your spokesman?" "Um, yes, let me get him for you . . ." Whispers to friends with a hand over the receiver - "We have a spokesman? I don't know either but this American is asking for him!" 

Monday, September 29, 2008

I have found something both fun and addicting

Judging a book by its cover. It shows you the cover of a book, and you guess how many stars Amazon users have given it. I did this 30 times, and got 10 right. That's after going to 3 and 15, so I'm pretty proud of myself. It's a lot harder predicting where people are tasteless than you might imagine.

http://www.judgeby.com/

Props to the oh-so-wonderful Good Morning Silicon Valley newsletter; my concession to my inner geek.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

My sister's poetry

My sister, Hannah, is now taking the poetry class I took when I was a junior in high school, except now she's taking it from Joshua Gibbs whereas I took from Justin Hughes. They were asked to write a short poem on any subject that interests them. Hannah is a violinist and she really loves music in general. She was having trouble figuring out what specifically to write about so I suggested that she write a poem about Symphony Conductors (something I had thought about putting to poetry sometime; but of course she beat me to it). Here's what she wrote:

Hannah Noland
Mr. Gibbs
Poetry


The Ascension


The night he performed, I was there
Sensing the stillness, the vibrations, the lyrical power.
A creation – words, as it were,
Spoken directly to my soul.

A child’s first climb up a tree -
Love, terror, joy, pleasure compounded,
Listening, waiting, the triumphant ascension.
The climax, awaited, rejoiced.

Four quick strokes of his baton,
An imitation of God.

It's not finished, it still needs to be edited by her peers and such; but it looks like a "finished" poem to me. I thought it was very good. I'm pretty proud of my sister. . .

I think this is quite appropriate

Joel Osteen: Megachurch "pastor," speaker, Larry King interviewee, and author. Of fiction.

Props to http://faithandinches.wordpress.com/ Taken in JFK airport, of all places. Those Yankees get some things right, don't they? Hope for everybody, I suppose.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

I'm telling you to wait, because this gets amazing

Okay, so a little background. If you don't know who Chuck Norris is, you need to do one of the following immediately: a) Get out more or 2) Go here and learn. For the record, he's a political conservative. Sorry, did that catch you off guard? I didn't think so.

So. Recently I've been surfing the internets trying to find the company that publishes a book I have to cite in my Rhetoric Term Paper. At said company's website, something in the lower left corner catches my eye. This is where it gets amazing. First, the title.
Black Belt Patriotism
Okay. What the heck? I'm speechless. Did someone let the 15 year old homeschooled boy try to write a book? What happened here?

Then I saw and understood the picture.
I don't know if you can tell, but that is, in fact, an American flag on his left sleeve. Priceless.

Yes, folks, Walker Texas Ranger has finally told you how to be a patriot if you don't want yourself roundhoused. But what could such a fount of knowledge have to write about? Let's see the 5 issues which Chuck says are important enough that he had to write about them.
  1. Immigration and securing our borders
  2. Winning the culture war for the sake of our children,
  3. Triumphing in the war on terrorism
  4. Tackling fiscal irresponsibility—both in government and at home.
  5. Battling the problem of widespread obesity
If you did not laugh out loud at number five, you have no soul. Or shake your head in befuddled sorrow. I can accept that.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

My polls- A defense

l would like to defend some of my polls, mostly the one about what God would smoke. I think this is a serious theological issue, similar to the one about how many angels could fit on the head of a pin. It may look ridiculous, but look a little closer. Okay, yeah maybe it is ridiculous. But you have to admit that it is funny to reject that God would smoke, because God is a CHRISTIAN!

Monday, September 22, 2008

I thought of my Dad

When I read these quotes from the one, the only, the great Vince Lombardi.

"A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall."
One word, three letters. NSA. We've gotta get a rugby club on.

"If you can accept losing you can't win. If you can walk you can run. No one is ever hurt. Hurt is in your mind."
I hear my Dad saying "Ain't nothin but a thang" when I bashed my thumb, skinned my elbow, or did anything generally hurtful while working.


I find Scott Adams quite funny at times

So I was cleaning out the old email inbox today, and ran across this little gem of a link:

Best Fundraiser Ever

Now Scott Adams' blog (he's the guy who writes the Dilbert comic strip) is normally far from wholesome entertainment (Trey, remember the hat?) and I would greatly encourage you against reading it as a general thing. But this bit is extremely amusing to yours truly.

Why I listen to Green Day and U2


Most people don't have a problem that I listen to the rock band U2 a good bit. U2 is generally a pretty wholesome band, and they are mostly Christian (all except Adam Clayton). This doesn't really describe them very well, but you sort of get the idea.









Green Day, on the other hand, is not as wholesome as we might like. Here's a picture of them:


Now here's the problem most people have with Green Day: they are punk. Also, they sound angry a lot, they are not Christians, they curse sometimes in their lyrics, and they look weird (this all kind of goes along with being punk).

Okay people, I hear you but let me explain why bands like Green Day are necessary in the music industry.

Let us say, for the sake of argument, that there are a lot of run-down buildings that need to be demolished. They are pretty old and historic and they represent a lot of tradition for some people. At some point, though, we need someone to knock those buildings down. That's Green Day. They are the demolition crew. They come in with sledgehammers and knock at corrupt America and traditions steeped in injustice. While they are at it, they also attack traditional religion and start to criticize the Christian faith (this is the point where we pay them their wages, take their sledgehammers away from them, and confiscate the keys to the wrecking ball).

This is all well and good, but what happens after they get carried away? Someone needs to build and put beautiful buildings up where before there was only decrepit, moldy, and condemned public housing projects. Who is going to do this? Bands like U2.

I see U2 as a band that primarily tries to replace the old vestiges of hate with love. Even when they were being more experimental and postmodern in the 90's they were using different means of achieving the same goal (primarily irony). It is hard to go to a U2 concert without being confronted about the suffering of the world. Bono may ask "Am I bugging you? I don't mean to bug ya". The audience may reply "Yes" cut it out and play the music; but his point is ultimately taken. I can't think of a better way of getting the message of love across to 4o,ooo people at once; because 40,000 people are singing along to a song that questions "how long, how long must we sing this song."

This is not to say that hate will ever disappear, or even that there never is a place for hate. But if we keep replacing it with love, surely the world will run out, right? Perhaps not, but Christians, fools to the world, can keep trying.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Poll

Well, It's a tie between God and Chuck Norris. It looks like they're going to have to duke it out to decide who is the real winner. Although, someone ought to warn Chuck Norris that he'll probably end up with a dislocated hip; that is if he does not get totally annihilated (God is one tough dude).

Saturday, September 20, 2008

I gave a great big sigh of relief

The world gets a reprieve! Turns out that yours truly predicted exactly what was going to happen with the old CERN project. Remember? Okay, well, maybe not exactly. But the problem turns out to have been the "hi-tech version of a soldering joint to link the two stretches of cable together." I said it before, I said it now, and I'll say it again. You gotta love it when a multi-billion dollar science-fair project gets sidelined because some random intern or highly skilled welder didn't want to miss his Manchester United game. Well, looks like the good old earth'll be around till 2009.

Brother and Sister Atheists. . .

This is going to be like one of those cheesy restaurant kid puzzles, what's wrong with this picture? You mean other than the fact that a school-bus is underwater with a clown as the driver? Oh, I think I found it. It must be that Kangaroo chillin' on the bottom floor, this is obviously the Atlantic ocean (pretty far from the kangaroo's native Australia).

Can you spot the utter absurdity?

My brother and sister atheists. . . This is the way Eddie Tabash, a militant atheist, addressed his audience of Minnesota atheists not long ago (I looked this up on Youtube because last night I saw him debate Pastor Doug Wilson). He proposes that the nonbelievers, atheists, agnostics, and general freethinkers of today should have an inner peace believing that their efforts, though not putting a dent in today's "superstitious" America, will bear its fruit in a future godless era. In previous times, atheistic efforts had a very short half-life of effectiveness. Spinoza, Hume, Ingersoll, and many others did their best at removing superstition beliefs but their efforts (though initially successful) failed to bring about lasting change. Atheists should do their part, first, by continuing to show the wont of evidence for the theistic (particular Christian theistic), and consequentially how childish belief in a non-existent God is. Secondly, atheists should support their "cause?" by voting for atheist politicians who (among other things) oppose the teaching of creationism in public schools, advocate the separation of church and state, and who are in favor or removing God from the pledge. This will lead to greater acceptance of the stance of unbelief, and generally more tolerance for religious (or non-religious) minorities. In a recent poll (Tabash claims) it was found (by whom, I don't know) that most in the religious right would rather vote for a homosexual than for an atheist. If he thinks long enough, I believe Tabash would realize why this is (presumably) the case.

I have a few things to say. What Tabash is proposing sounds an awful lot like a religion. Was he attempting irony when he addressed his constituents as "brother and sister atheists"? The very fact that they have to band together like this is evidence that they are kicking against the goads. For many of them, the only thing they have in common is a disbelief in the supernatural. It's likely that many of them are political liberals, but this leaves a very large margin for disagreement. Anyway, if you get a chance I recommend watching this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmwqL_JL3mI

I could just embed it, but I'm not going to (I don't like explaining myself). Just go to Youtube and watch it. You will find your faith strengthened by the stupendous effort that these brave men and women, atheists, put into ensuring that God takes no part in their lives. And all it does is make God laugh.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

One day left to vote

There's only one day left to vote and frankly I'm disappointed. Come on people, 4 people voted for Chuck Norris! I shouldn't even have made that an option, clearly I'm the greatest in the world.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Burn After Reading

Ok, anyone who has watched "Burn after Reading"; what did you think? What was the main message that the Coen brothers were trying to get across? I'm really curious, because this movie took me completely by surprise.


Although I won't summarize the plot, I will give my 2 cents worth about the appropriateness of the film. It wasn't appropriate; it's just that simple. There were some elements in it that I would not even want to describe; it's just too vulgar. On the other hand, it reminded me a lot of a Flannery O'Connor short story (after Alli mentioned it), and also a little bit of "A Confederacy of Dunces".

Also, it was hilarious.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

My first rhetoric declamation paper

“Please. . . please… please… Get up off your knees.” Booyah! You need to stop praying. This is from the chorus of U2’s song “Please.” It’s from their album “Pop”; if you haven’t heard of it it’s probably because (ironically) it’s not one of their more popular albums. In this album, Bono took the strategy of addressing his listeners in the second person. This is the musical equivalent of preaching. It’s one thing to be criticized for swearing, drinking too much, or not tithing. I can understand that. It’s another to be hammered for praying. So, is Bono being fair? We can say with certainty that praying to the Father (in general) is a good thing. In this case, I don’t think Bono is really saying that we should stop praying. His point is a very good one. He is in effect pleading that it is not enough to say, in the language of the Book of James, “Go in Peace, be warmed and filled.” It’s easy for us to get on our knees and pray that someone else would help those poor starving children in Africa. But if we really want to see a change in the world we must first become the arms and legs of Christ in the world. As arms and legs we must feel the needs and pains of the body and respond with both sympathy and action. This is hard, but it is our Christian calling. Let’s get off our knees, and do some good.

So, this was my first original composition for my freshman rhetoric declamations for NSA. My delivery wasn't quite as good as I had hoped that it would be; probably because I had only gotten 3 hrs. of sleep the night before and by that time I was exhausted. It wasn't terrible, but I apparently was stiff and did something weird with my knee (probably my left, not quite sure).

Man, was that ever a long afternoon.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Microwave woes

Last night I was heating up some quesadillas in the microwave. It was one of those deals where you open the box, take out some stone-like things in the shape of a crescent, stick 'em in some sleeve, and then microwave the bloody heck out of them.

Well, I think there must be some universal law that you can't get a good ol' Aristotelian mean out of a sleeve pocket dinner. Either there's still a frozen portion (usually in the middle) or it becomes scalding hot. Actually, what usually happens is that you get both. The edges are scalding hot but the middle is nice and frozen. In the case of last night the edges were actually burned and the paper was about ready to catch fire. And yet, once again there is still a frozen piece the size of Alaska. So what do you do with the part that's already cooked to death? Slice around it and put the frozen part back in. But I don't want to ruin my nice crescent. . .

Maybe this'll be one of the things I ask God about when I get to Heaven.

Animal Rights

"Animal Rights" has always been one of my pet issues, hahahaha. But seriously now, these animals need some rights.

FACT: Animals can't vote

FACT: Animals don't have the right to free speech (suppose, for example, that a parrot tried to say something other than "Polly Want a Cracker?)

FACT: If I were an animal, I'd shoot myself - if only I had the right to bear arms.

This news video, gets at the heart of the issue.

NB: This video is an "Onion" news article. As with many other "Onions" there is some profanity, and some suggestive commercials at the end. The main video is completely harmless but the 20 sec. after it has a few words (or rather one phrase in particular) that aren't nice. Enjoy.


Should Animals Be Doing More For The Animal Rights Movement?

Monday, September 8, 2008

I need some Sulfur Hexaflouride

really, really bad.



Don't try at home? Adam, be serious. I can sound like the devil himself, and you expect me not to try this?

Failed blog frontliner photos

Too weird








Interesting, but no









I look kind of evil, Dane looks rather confused, and Kaleb's got that evil thing going too. We aren't necessarily looking to scare our readership.






Just a little bit cliche.








We prefer not to look like idiots (when we can help it).

Sunday, September 7, 2008

I find this amusing

This is an interesting article on a very interesting story. These dudes in France/Switzerland are about to fire off the most powerful cannon the world has ever seen in order to smash together two particles so small we can't even see them with our most powerful optics in order to find out if something exists which we won't be able to see even if we do find out it exists. And on top of that, 5 minutes of data collecting will give them 50 years of data analysis, at least. Anyhow, that's all well and good, and I'm all about some dark matter (just read some of Augustine's thoughts on Creation and you'll find that he'd go absolutely crazy over this stuff, saying that it proved God), but the response from "skeptics" is what entertains me. The article notes "that some skeptics fear [the experiment] could create micro "black holes" and endanger the planet."
First off, if you think an experiment is going to destroy the frippin' world, does that classify you as a "skeptic," or an "objector on basis of desiring to exist?" I mean honestly, could we get a better description here?
Secondly, micro black holes. Black holes get bigger the more they suck in, and they suck in stars, planets, and galaxies. I'd say this isn't really "endangering the planet" so much as destroying the world. Anytime the world gets turned inside out because of an anti-matter hole somewhere in Europe, we've got problems.

I guess what I'm saying is, I think this cautionary science-talk is absolutely hysterical. And, in the end, it has to be rather nerve-wracking, being a pagan in the middle of all this. After all, we know we aren't going to destroy the planet. They can only hope.

Update: Wouldn't you hate to be this guy and lay part of that track backwards and blow the whole thing up? That whole thought makes me laugh very much. 9.8 billion (that's right, with a b) of the hardest-earned goes up in smoke because some random dude mislaid a 1 foot long magnet.

Sigur Rós




This is a video of Sigur Rós, one of my favorite bands. Sigur Rós is an icelandic band and their name means "Victory Rose." This particular song is entitled "Saeglopur." Some of its lyrics are in Icelandic but the rest of it is in Vonleska or "Hopelandic" in English. This is a made-up language consisting of nonsense syllables. In this way, we as the listeners are not hampered by our conceptions of the meaning coming from the lyrics. The vocals of the band are merely instruments, not special tools of meaning. The song definitely has meaning, but not a definite meaning and it certainly cannot be found as easily as looking for it in the vocals. Listen for a great increase in intensity several minutes into it, it is truly magnificent.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

I had my modern conceptions of fairness blown far, far away

So I'm perusing - no, strike that, try break-neck speed reading - Augustine's City of God, and I come across a quotation of Genesis 17:13-14:

[God spoke to Abraham] "He who is born in your house and he who is bought with your money must be circumcised, and My covenant shall be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant. And the uncircumcised male child, who is not circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin, that person shall be cut off from his people; he has broken My covenant."

Let's get this straight: a baby boy who is not circumcised by his parents has already broken the covenant with God. If he dies at nine days old and has not been circumcised, he dies outside the covenant of grace. Whoa.
Then Christ comes and renews the covenant, replacing circumcision with baptism. But does this change the principle? Obviously there is enough condemnation in original sin to damn a babe in arms. Again, the burden must be on the parents.

"No One Knows"

"A poem is never finished, only abandoned"
-Paul Valery


This is, I think, the state I want to abandon this poem in. I'm titling it "No One Knows" or "Uncertainty". I'm still not sure what I want to call it. You could give me suggestions if you want. I spent a long time with just the first two stanzas written (and slightly different) not knowing what exactly I was going for in this poem. It was in some ways an idea without any background to lend it meaning.

I see before me a locked door encased in a splendid mansion
I have been through every open room (and they were all magnificent)
But this is an expansion which utterly befuddles my mind;
I am bent upon the questions of, “What if . . .?”, “What if . . .?”
Sometimes my mind seems like a log that is made to drift.

No man has the gift to break down this oaken door, and I have not the key.
But I know the cool air that bleeds from under its threshold;
I have felt it in the breeze that runs beneath the shelves of an old bookstore.
The cold dead breeze that once flew around Edgar Allan Poe as he wrote
His “Raven” evermore breathes monotonous death from underneath that door.

It is the air of uncertainty that kills many a conversation,
( “Who could know what such a cryptic comment means?”)
One would find more certainty in a bustling Station. But this place. . .
Here there are reams of scribbled paper but nothing linking it together,
Trace the lines and you will find no picture whatsoever.

No one knows.

Numa Numa Dane




I have no words.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

A whole new meaning to "deadly"

By popular demand (sort of, not really), I am now going to write a post dealing with the issues raised by the movie "Seven". This is not a movie I would recommend to the weak of heart, and this is not a post I'd recommend to anyone avoiding spoilers. In other words, don't watch the movie if you don't like gory stuff, and don't read this post if you would be mad if I gave away the ending. This being said, let's just dive right into it shall we?

Actually, there's too much plot for me to adaquately explain it all. Therefore, you can disregard what I said earlier because I'm just going to assume that you've already watched the thing. What's that you say? Why not go back and delete what I wrote earlier? That's a stupid question. I'm not even going to answer that.

I thought the movie was well thought out, excellently shot, and masterfully acted. The contrast between the characters of Somerset and Mills is perfect. We know astonishingly little about their biography so we learn about them through their reactions to the events of the movie. Somerset (Morgan Freeman) is a calm character, an experienced detective who wishes to retire because he no longer wishes to view the filth of humanity under a microscope. Mills (Brad Pitt) is a young and cocky detective who is very quick to annoyance and anger. The story moves quickly through the murders and the movie leaves very little time for character development. I think this is, however, a device that is intentionally employed by Fincher and Walker. They force their audience to make the same kind of assumptions about the detectives that "John Doe" (the murderer) makes about his victims. Our knowledge of the characters is shallow in almost the same way as our knowledge of the victims and their sins. I think it's partly a critique of the narrow mindedness of people who appoint themselves as judges of other people's sins. Perhaps, the director is trying to make the point that judgment is not that simple.

The director leaves the audience in an awkward position when he ends the story with Mills killing John Doe, as Doe himself urged him to do. "Become Wrath." And Mills did exactly what Doe told him to do, he became sinfully wrathful and killed Doe himself, rather than let him be justly punished for his wrongs. So, the audience must fill in the aftermath themselves, and give a verdict upon the outcome of the movie.

Were the "ritual killings" just, based upon the victim's deadly sins? Was John Doe justly punished for his crimes and sin of "Envy"?

My answers would be no, and no. John Doe went wrong when he thought that he could act as God, it was not his job to punish the wicked. And I don't think that's what the Roman Catholic church means by "Deadly Sins."

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

An Introduction: Swede

Ladies and Gentlemen, you may not have noticed but we have another contributor listed to this blog. Yes, that is right, his pseudonym is "Swede", kind of like mine is Rob N (except that "Swede" is not etymologically related to his real name). His real name is Dane Wilson, most people call him "Dane." He's a very cool guy, hailing from Moscow, ID and I'm sure he has some very good and quite interesting things to say (one of these days, I know for a fact that he's pretty busy). I'm not going to say much more in the way of introductions, I'm sure you can figure the rest of it out on your own - read his profile, that'll probably tell you a few superficial details about him. I'll let him fill you in on the rest. Maybe his first post will be an autobiography, that would be cool! Anyway, thank you very much for reading and I hope this blog finds you well (in a state of pleasant and blissful unflabbergastedness - yes, I did just type that word for the first time ever).

This is not him, this is another guy named Dane Wilson. Sorry for the confusion.